We don’t know what to call this vehicle you can buy for $3,000 on the mega site Alibaba. A two-wheeled vehicle is called a bicycle, but this can’t be called that for obvious reasons. Alibaba calls it a “rolling car,” but also calls it a Happy Car. Neither describes what this side-by-side toilet paper roll is. But watching the video, you just need to get it out onto a sand dune or snow-covered field and then just let ‘er rip. 

What is a/the Happy Car?

The Happy Car is almost like a carnival ride, with all of the colorful rainbow of flashing lights. There are also customizable sounds you can program into it, that coordinate with the flashing and blinking lights. Just like at an amusement park. 

And while this looks like the most reckless thing you will ever drive or pilot, it comes with safety features. No, we’re not kidding. It incorporates radar for “safety and collision avoidance.” So it’s a high-tech bi-monowheel, which also doesn’t describe this contraption. 

Do the Happy Car seats roll with the wheels?

While you would expect that the passenger seats would be in a fixed position, you would be wrong to assume that. Instead, they rock to and fro like those Ferris wheels with rocking chairs. The good news, or bad news, depending on whether you have an iron gut, is that passengers can spin around 360 degrees. Or lesser degrees depending on how fast or slow you are at accelerating this apparatus. 

Nestled between the two bucket seats is a control box with a joystick for controlling speed, acceleration, and forward or reverse selections. Once seated, a “pressure bar” folds down onto your lap to hold you into the contrivance. Naturally, there are also four-point shoulder belts that combined, keep you seated upright and planted. As an aside, we’d also suggest wearing a driving helmet, just in case. 

 Power comes from two 300W electric motors, which, honestly, are not much better than what you would find in an electric screwdriver. Actually, that’s not true. But this rolling two-wheel gizmo is pretty slow. How do we know? Because the spec sheet gives the speed in meters per minute. 

How fast is the Happy Car?

The top speed is listed at the equivalent of close to 2 mph. So while we imagined jumping dunes and speeding over large ruts in the desert terrain, that ain’t gonna happen. Maybe they should call this a “turtle barrel.”

Based on the video, it does appear to have a bit of torque, but in the short demonstrations, it does seem to poop out fairly quickly. And this is only with a single operator. Though it is made for two, there are caveats. Unfortunately, those heavier individuals amongst us may have to take a pass. The recommended weight limit is 440 lbs. 

But honestly, as an adult toy for a few minutes of fun, it may be worth it. Sort of like a giant party favor, or something to induce vomiting, if that’s your thing. As always, Alibaba doesn’t disappoint.