The wackiest video on car YouTube today might be by The Film Theorist channel. Matthew Patrick is the genius who claims to have discovered the cannibalism in Wall-E’s plot and the dark apocalyptic history of the Cars universe. For his latest video he took on the entire Fast and Furious franchise. And his theory actually says more about transportation in the world today than it says about the movies.

Patrick watched every film in the Fast & Furious series. That alone is a huge undertaking. But he did so with a pen and paper so he could take note of every vehicle driven by every character, how far they travel, and calculate how much gas they use. He crunched this data into full carbon footprints for every single character in the franchise.

Calculating carbon footprints for Fast & Furious movies may sound like an absurd exercise, but Patrick came up with some interesting data. Sure, Dominic Toretto and crew burn a bit more fossil fuel than your average commuter, chasing criminals around the globe in 1,000+ horsepower V8 muscle cars. But Patrick suggests they are doing it for a good reason: environmental stewardship.

Here’s the key: the criminals’ illegal activities release many many times more carbon into the atmosphere. So stopping them would go a long way toward stopping global warming. Think about it for a minute: the baddies are always cruising around in convoys of train-sized trucks–at the minimum. They steal submarines and cargo planes for their own nefarious plans. They even stage rocket launches to put their own satellites in orbit.

One criminal in particular–Charlize Theron’s globe-trotting hacker, Cipher–is especially cruel to mother earth. She jets around the globe aboard her own custom Boeing 747, only ever landing long enough to refuel. Do you know how much fuel that would waste!?! Seriously, just set your computers up in a bunker.

Good-guy mastermind “Mr. Nobody” of “the Agency” (Kurt Russell) enlists Dominic Toretto and his crew to go after these bad guys and put their polluting to an end. And before you say chasing down terrorists with a V8 muscle car on drag tires is inefficient, think about the alternative. Sending even one platoon of soldiers requires a convoy of 4WDs and armored vehicles. The M1 Abrams tank gets 0.6 miles per gallon. That’s right, you’d be better to measure its burn in gallons per mile. A 1970 Dodge Charger might as well be a Prius by comparison.

Toretto’s crew finds creative ways to save fuel too. Instead of flying all the way to the airport nearest their destination, and wasting fuel landing and taking off, they just parachute out of the plane with their cars. John Cena’s Jakob Toretto owns an airplane so efficient he fills its gas tank with three shots of Vodka. And at the end of Fast X, the Torettos even have an electric Dodge Charger parked in their driveway. Regular old eco warriors, right here!

In fact, all evidence points to the unnamed “Agency” being the Environmental Protection Agency. Dominic Toretto is obviously an EPA enforcement agent, bent on saving the planet no matter how many fiery explosions it takes.

If anything, Patrick under-estimated the carbon footprint difference between the films’ heroes and villains. He only figured out the footprint of their travel, not of the products they buy. And any vintage car enthusiast will tell you that building new cars burns through a ton of fossil fuels. While the baddies are always wrecking brand-new supercars, the Torettos are content to barbecue in their back yard and keep repairing the same old cars. Heck, they only ever leave LA when they have to save the day. Left to their own devices, the Toretto crew’s biggest energy expense is probably importing Corona.

All joking aside, this absurd theory says something very telling about the world we live in today. Corporate emissions (such as from manufacturing) and air travel are a major part of the problem. That in no way excuses inefficient habits such as not carpooling or having a poorly-tuned old car. But next time you see a Prius driver dunk on an old car’s driver for emissions–before flying off to yet another Tulum vacation–tell them to be less Cipher and more Toretto.

Next, find out which Fast & Furious stunts defy physics the most, or see The Film Theorist‘s excellent video below: