If you’re gonna steal a getaway car, maybe pick something with a top speed above 25 mph. Donald John Clark didn’t. Instead, he nabbed a 20-ton front-end loader and led St. Petersburg police on a 90-minute chase that could’ve been outrun by a bicycle.

It started when police got a tip about Clark driving erratically in a $250,000 Volvo L110G. The chase? Less Fast & Furious, more slow-motion mayhem. Clark blew through stop signs and curbs, with officers just keeping pace, unable to stop the massive machine.

“The man driving the loader disregarded the officer’s emergency lights and sirens, driving into adjacent neighborhoods, going over curbs and running stop signs,” said St. Petersburg police spokesman Mike Puetz (Patch.com). Officers tried blocking Clark’s path, but “on several occasions the loader operator drove directly at police cruisers… narrowly missing them as they moved out of his way.”

Clark plowed around town, ignoring the lights and sirens. As Puetz put it, “Officers had no immediate means to stop the loader and attempted to just maintain a visual on it until an opportunity arose.”

Eventually, the loader ran out of gas, but Clark wasn’t done. He ditched the machine and took off on foot, only to get tased and arrested shortly after.

This wasn’t the first time heavy machinery took the spotlight for an odd crime. In Spain (the Florida of Europe), an ex-Mercedes-Benz employee took a Caterpillar loader on a $6 million rampage through a factory, smashing over 50 vehicles. Meanwhile, back in Florida, an illegal migrant tragically struck and killed a deputy while operating a front-end loader at a construction site, sparking a manhunt.

Donald John Clark might have thought he was bulldozing his way to freedom, but instead, he got bulldozed by bad decisions. Luckily, no one was hurt, so we can look back and laugh at the slowest police chase in years.