Many of the Freak Show selections have a purpose or reason for the modifications and work involved in their construction. It may be to gain a pickup from a car or doing something with some of the wrecks that litter your lower 40. Maybe you’re looking to show off your building chops or otherwise restyling what you’ve got into something more like what you really want. Sort of like “run what ya brung.” Then there are exercises like today’s Freak Show Friday Citation.

What could have possibly been going through the head of the person that made this complex mess? To be honest Chevy Citations are freaks right out of the gate. Chevy made so many but they’re so bad they crapped out or rusted away in a hurry. Less than a decade later there couldn’t have been a dozen of them traipsing across our highways and byways. They’re rare as any Ferrari or Lambo and we hope it stays that way.

This week’s Freak Show Friday is a bit hard to see what is going on with this Citation

But back to our Freak Show Friday subject. It is a bit hard to even see what you’re seeing so here’s what you’re looking at. First, the Citation has been turned into a rear-engine, rear-wheel-drive chariot. Running the stock Citation grille now as an air extractor and converting the headlights to taillights we’re getting the vibe so far. 

Moving forward the body takes a deep cut behind what are now the rear wheel openings and the whole thing narrows up. We mean like single-seat narrow. It’s an inexplicable, sudden change that turns this into a freak like no other. 

The narrowed Citation front was too narrow for anything other than a single wheel

Now what’s left of the body is too narrow for a conventional front end and nothing on this is conventional. So, the builder went with a single sprung wheel with bits from a motorcycle like the tree/forks. It’s suspended by twin coil-over shocks on each side of the wheel. 

It’s only a guess but there is probably some bell-crank contraption tying the steering gear to the tree to make it steer. Whoever welded this up knew how to weld. They’re not pretty welds but they aren’t like bubble gum either. So, this is probably a stout setup though we probably wouldn’t want to take it for a spin, sorry.

To hide all of this front end madness there are Citation body panels that make like fender skirts. It’s just so much more insanity but we’re not done yet. Another Citation grille has also been narrowed and functions as housings for the trendy square headlights of the time. What looks like a rather crude, flat chunk of glass acts as the new windshield. It’s even legal with a single windshield wiper. Nice!

We’re glad the Citation builder kept the grievous green plastic interior

Inside the bone-stock Citation the dash has been artfully narrowed. We’re glad the builder kept the grievous green color. It’s especially fetching on plastic simulated vinyl panels. We even love the tan shag carpet, though we’d like to have seen more green. That would be an easy fix if we were to buy this which we are absolutely not going to do. 

In conclusion, we are utterly perplexed at the amount of work and the total absence of any logical reason for performing it. It’s what makes Freak Show Fridays so anticipated each and every week. You just can’t imagine what abomination you’ll be witnessing when you click it open. Check back next week for more if you can stomach it all.