The roads have long become a battleground, with millennials and older drivers engaging in a game of ‘who’s the most annoying behind the wheel.’ Ranging from slowpoke seniors to tech-obsessed twenty- to thirty-somethings, no one’s driving skills are safe from criticism. Here’s why millennials might be rolling their eyes at their elders on the road.

Hands-Free? More Like Hands-Slightly-Less-On

When it comes to phone use while driving, older drivers have their own interpretation of “hands-free.” Their version involves holding the phone slightly away from their ear as if that extra inch will somehow make it safer. It’s like thinking that standing on your tiptoes makes you invisible. 

The Bumper Sticker

Read the bumper stickers on an older driver’s car for a history lesson or a good laugh. These mobile museums have bumper stickers older than most millennials and sometimes give you a heads up about what you’re about to deal with. Talk about “Driver is old. Can’t hear your horn, can’t see your finger.” 

The Never-Ending Story of the Turn Signal

Remember the bedtime stories you were told as a kid? Well, they’ve got nothing on the saga of an older driver’s turn signal. Legend has it that some of these blinkers have been flashing since 1995, miles and miles before they are needed. This seems like Morse code for, “I might turn… Someday…”

The Slow and the Furious 

Imagine cruising the highway when you suddenly have to slam the brakes. Ahead, a car in the fast lane crawls along at a snail’s pace. Welcome to the world of older drivers, where the fast lane is just a suggestion, and driving 10 mph under the speed limit feels like the new norm. 

GPS? More Like “Grandpa’s Positioning System”

Why use a GPS when you can have a live, in-car navigation system? Older drivers insist on giving turn-by-turn directions, complete with no longer existing landmarks. “Turn right where the old Johnson farm used to be” is a perfectly valid direction in their book. Why trust an unseen stranger talking out of a machine? 

The Roundabout Runaround

To some older drivers, a roundabout is not a simple traffic management tool—it’s a strange portal that opens to another dimension. They’ll drive miles out of their way to avoid these circular menaces. It’s like watching a real-life version of “The Amazing Race,” except the only prize is avoiding mild confusion.

Yellow Light? More Like a Starting Gun.

For most road users, a yellow light means “slow down.” But for older drivers, it’s more like “floor it!” They treat every yellow light like their last chance to cross an intersection. Seems like they’re playing a real-life version of the Frogger game, and that yellow light is the final level.

Cassette Players: The Original Apple CarPlay

While millennials are syncing their smartphones to their car’s infotainment system, older drivers are still rocking that cassette player. And no, it’s not because they’re being hipsters. They genuinely prefer the authentic hiss and occasional tape-eating experience. And again, it’s not vintage; the car stereo has just never been replaced.

The Self-Driving Suspicion

In the age of Tesla and autonomous automobiles, older drivers have found a new nemesis: self-driving cars. They’ll honk at these high-tech marvels for “looking suspicious” on the road as if expecting the car to pull out dark glasses at any moment. This is the ultimate “get off my road” move. 

The Great Car Classification Conundrum

The vast array of vehicle types on modern roads can be overwhelming to an older driver. Their solution? Simplify! In their world, there are only two types of cars: “sedans” and “station wagons.” That sleek sports car? Sedan. A towering SUV? Station wagon. Millennials find themselves frustrated by this two-category system.

The Great Wildlife and Preservation Society

Older drivers seem to have sworn to protect every living creature and some non-living ones. They’ll slam on the brakes for squirrels and birds, which is impressive. But leaves? Sometimes, leaves blowing across the road get the same slamming reaction. Millennials in the backseat, meanwhile, are getting an unexpected rollercoaster ride.

Parallel Parking: The Final Frontier

To many older drivers, “parallel parking” sounds like a new dance craze the kids are into. They approach it with the same trepidation as they would a Fortnite tournament. Watch in awe as they turn a simple parking maneuver into a 17-point turn, complete with an audience of honking cars. 

The Horn: Vintage Vuvuzelas

You’re driving down the street, minding your business, when suddenly you hear a sound that makes you wonder if you’ve accidentally time-traveled to the 1920s. No, it’s not a Model T backfiring—it’s just an older driver’s car horn. These annoying blasts sound like they’re auditioning for a role in a black-and-white film.

The Four-Way Stop Shuffle

Ah, the four-way stop—a simple concept that turns into a complex dance routine when older drivers are involved. These courteous road users insist on waving other drivers through, even when it’s clearly their turn to go. This well-meaning gesture often results in a traffic jam. Imagine how this makes the millennials behind them feel. 

The Grand Finale

In the end, while these quirks might make millennials roll their eyes so hard, there’s a certain charm to the older driver’s approach to the road. They’re relics of a particular time when driving was less about getting from A to B as quickly as possible and more about the journey. But still, hurry!