A semi truck driver’s “office” is our highway system. Many spend thousands of hours of their life driving. And watching us drive. Many car drivers don’t realize it, but the cab of a big rig is a perfect vantage point to see what we all get up to behind the wheel. And a surprising number of truckers report seeing commuters eating or preparing complex meals on the road. Like really truly complex. One was even operating a whole farm in their rig.

Recently, the question was put to truck drivers: what are your most peculiar—or even surreal-stories from the road. Obviously not every answer was exactly safe for work. One trucker put it succinctly, “A surprising number of people drive without pants.” So consider yourself warned. If you ever feel the urge to do the “no pants dance” behind the wheel, know that semi truck drivers are watching.

There was a fascinating link between many of the strangest activities truck drivers have ever encountered: food. And I don’t mean just wolfing down a Big Mac and fries with your car on cruise control. No, I mean complex meals and complex food prep. Here’s an example from one driver.

“I came across this slow driver, so I went over to the next lane to pass them. As I was pulling up, I looked over, and saw that the driver was eating a BOWL OF SOUP. I think she was driving slow to reduce spillage, but, like, put it in a thermos or a bowl with a lid at least? Or maybe don’t eat something with liquid while driving??”

I guess if you love your soup, you love your soup. Its a great, versatile meal. But like the trucker said, eating it out of a bowl with a spoon–while driving–puts both your interior and your lap at risk. Let’s hope the driver in question was wearing pants! But come to think of it, a sealed thermos of hearty soup might be the ultimate in-car meal.

That’s not all. The internet conjured up some other stories of bizarre foods on the road. And while most drivers may limit themselves to eating while driving, some take the opportunity to prepare an entire meal.

“My dad has been a truck driver for over 20 years, and he’s told me a lot of stories. My all-time favorite is when he saw a lady with a cutting board in her lap, slicing fruit like she was playing Fruit Ninja. She even had a bowl in the passenger seat in which she put the slices. She was doing all this while driving down the highway — just casually making a d— fruit salad.”

Wow! Maybe this amateur chef was late for a potluck and hadn’t had any time to prepare, so she thought I’ll just bring my knife and cutting board and make a nice salad—in the car. But man, that sounds terrifyingly dangerous. One bad pothole and SLICE, there goes your finger.

If you think practicing your culinary talents while driving is weird, there is another woman who appears to be operating an entire farm. This story is actually one that a truck driver told about another professional driver.

“I was watching another driver get out of her truck. When she opened the sleeper door, five chickens came out. She brought them all to her chest, embraced them, and carried them away. I was so confused.”

I mean, I like fresh eggs as much as the next guy. But I can’t picture living with chickens in my house. Imagine the smell! So chickens in the semi truck sleeper cab where I live and work almost every minute of the day!? No thank you.