Have you seen that social media account that animates conversations police officers have with (often drunk) drivers? I’ll share one below. In any case, this wrong-way driver situation here might do well with Sock Puppet Master treatment.

The Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office in Lincoln, Nebraska, posted dispatch audio and cruiser footage of a “concerned” highway driver. In it, the caller calmly describes to dispatch what looked like a wrong-way truck with its brights on driving straight toward him. He was northbound on U.S. 77, a major north-south artery moving through Lincoln. “He almost ran me off the road,” he recounts in the call.

The wrong-way driver inadvertently called 911 on himself, “Like a dumb f—.”

Dispatch tells the caller that they’ll look for the wrong-way driver. Then, dashcam footage from the attending sheriff’s deputy flags a vehicle in the grassy median on 77.

It was the wrong-way driver, perched behind the wheel of a sedan. He admits to driving toward opposing traffic. When asked why, he simply says, “I must have missed an exit.”

The officer makes the arrest. It turns out the man had a blood alcohol reading more than twice the legal limit. 

In the back of the cruiser, the deputy brings up the call. “Were you the one that called in?”

“Yep,” the driver responds. He really thought someone else was on the wrong side of the road.

“Turns out it was you,” the deputy concludes.

 The drunk, now self-incriminating, wrong-way driver concurs. “Yea, like a dumb f—.”